Sleep Solutions for Teens
Let’s be real—getting your teen to put their phone down before bed is about as easy as teaching your dog to do the tango. It’s just not happening!
So, what’s the alternative? Read on for some realistic, research-backed tips to help your teen get better sleep without creating unnecessary battles!
Why Is Sleep So Hard for Teens?
We’re up against biology, and it’s a tough battle!
Some teens fall asleep just fine, while others struggle to drift off at night, and that’s thanks to biology working against them.
During adolescence, teens experience a shift in their circadian rhythms, which pushes their natural sleep time later into the night. This means their melatonin (the hormone that makes you sleepy) doesn’t kick in until around 11 p.m. or later. For most adults, melatonin starts rising around 9 p.m., which is why we start feeling sleepy around 10:30 p.m. But your teen likely won’t feel that same sleepiness until 12-1 a.m.
Why does this happen?
It's all thanks to evolution!
During adolescence, our brains are wired for peak physical activity and alertness, which may have been essential for survival in early human history. Teens were likely more active at night for social bonding and watchful protection—though today, we’re no longer in that era, the brain’s evolutionary wiring hasn’t completely caught up! This circadian delay persists, making teens more likely to stay up late, even though modern life requires early mornings.
So, while it might seem like they’re just staying up for fun, their bodies are literally wired to want to stay awake longer—and wake up later too. Trying to make them sleep at 10 p.m. might be a losing battle, as they’re likely to just lie there (cue anxious or intrusive thoughts!).
What can you do?
Ease Into a Healthier Sleep Routine: If your teen has been sleeping in, adjusting back to a regular schedule can be tough. Try getting them up 30 minutes earlier each day until they reach their ideal wake-up time. This gradual shift allows their body clock to adjust without the shock of a sudden early rise. Encourage an earlier bedtime each night too, aiming for a solid 8-9 hours of sleep to support their well-being.
Create a Smooth Morning Routine: Take a few moments to talk through what the ideal morning routine could look like, including things like breakfast, showering, and getting dressed, to set a calm tone for the day. Trying a “practice run” can help you spot any areas that might need adjusting, so everything flows smoothly each morning.
Try these:
1. Embrace the Late Sleep Time
Rather than fighting your teen’s natural inclination to stay up late, try to shift expectations where possible.
If their schedule allows, encourage them to set a consistent bedtime that’s later but realistic (e.g., 11 p.m. or midnight) rather than pushing for an early bedtime that doesn’t align with their circadian rhythm.
While you can’t change school start times, on weekends or holidays, you might allow a later wake-up time to compensate for their natural sleep needs.
Tip: Work on setting a consistent routine, even if it’s later than you’d prefer, as routine is still key to healthy sleep.
2. Create a Relaxing Wind-Down Routine
Even if your teen isn’t ready for bed early, you can help them establish a calming evening routine to cue their brain that it’s time to start winding down. Rather than focusing on eliminating screens, focus on content and environment:
Dim the lights to signal to their brain that it’s night time.
Encourage them to switch to relaxing content (music, podcasts, nature documentaries) at least 30 minutes before bed.
Encourage mindfulness: Suggest they spend a few minutes with relaxation exercises, such as deep breathing or light stretching, to calm their bodies and minds before sleep.
Tip: Rather than banning screens entirely (which rarely works), help your teen choose more calming activities before bed that won’t overstimulate them.
3. Accept Devices, But Guide the Content
Let’s be honest—phones and devices are a big part of their world, and they’re used to having them on hand right until they fall asleep. Instead of fighting this, focus on what they’re consuming on those screens.
Encourage your teen to switch from overstimulating games or emotionally charged videos (e.g., intense social media interactions, or dramatic YouTube videos) to something more relaxing. There’s a ton of content out there designed specifically to help with relaxation, like ASMR videos, soothing music, or nature documentaries.
These types of content can help their brain transition from an alert, hyper-focused state to a calmer one, making it easier for them to wind down for sleep.
Tip: Suggest they explore ASMR or other calming content, which has been shown to relax the brain and body, rather than banning screens altogether. It’s a more realistic and effective way to help them settle down for the night.
4. Be Flexible on Weekends (Within Limits)
Weekends can be a good opportunity for teens to catch up on sleep after a long week of early starts. Allowing them to sleep in is fine—and even beneficial—but it’s important to strike a balance so their sleep schedule doesn’t get completely thrown off.
Sleeping until the afternoon may feel great for them, but it can make Monday mornings even tougher and throw off their circadian rhythm even more.
A more realistic approach is to give them a bit of extra time, but encourage them to wake up no later than mid-morning. This allows them to recover from the week without flipping their schedule upside down.
Another option is to use weekends as a time to practice good sleep hygiene. For instance, encourage relaxing activities on Friday and Saturday nights, like watching a movie or listening to calming music, and allow them a bit more freedom to sleep in.
Tip: Think of weekends as an opportunity to restore balance—let them recharge, but keep the schedule loose enough so Monday morning doesn’t feel like a shock to the system.
Why Waking Up in the Morning is So Hard for Teens?
By now, you know that teens’ circadian rhythms are naturally delayed, causing them to stay up later—and that same shift makes mornings tough.
When teens wake up early, they’re often pulling themselves out of the deepest stages of sleep, leaving them feeling groggy and disoriented. Their bodies simply haven’t had enough time to fully recharge, which makes getting up for school feel like an impossible task.
Add to that the fact that melatonin, the hormone that promotes sleep, is still lingering in their system in the early morning hours, making them feel even sleepier, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a tough wake-up.
What can you do?
1. Gradual Wake-Up Time
Instead of expecting your teen to leap out of bed the second their alarm goes off, encourage a gradual wake-up. This gives their body and brain time to adjust, making the transition from sleep to wakefulness a bit smoother.
Let them lie in bed for a few minutes, stretch, and take deep breaths to gently wake up.
Tip: Encourage them to wait 3 minutes before grabbing their phone. This allows their brain to fire up fully, making the transition into the day easier.
2. Create a Morning Routine They Enjoy
Help them build a morning routine they actually like. Whether it’s playing their favourite music, having a fun breakfast, or doing some light stretches, giving them something to look forward to can make waking up feel less dreadful.
Tip: Involve them in creating the routine so they have ownership and feel motivated to stick to it.
3. Let in Natural Light
Exposure to natural light in the morning helps reset their circadian rhythm and signals to their brain that it’s time to wake up. Opening the blinds or stepping outside, even for just a few minutes, can make a big difference in how alert they feel.
Tip: If it’s hard to get them out of bed, try using a wake-up light that mimics natural sunlight. This gradual light exposure helps the brain wake up more naturally, instead of the jolt of a loud alarm.
Top Tips From a Teen Therapist
1. Embrace a Later Bedtime
Instead of enforcing an early bedtime, work with your teen’s natural body clock by allowing a later bedtime that aligns with their circadian rhythm (like 11 p.m. or midnight). Focus on consistency rather than an overly early bedtime they’ll struggle to stick to.
2. Create a Relaxing Wind-Down Routine
Encourage a wind-down routine at least 30 minutes before bed that helps your teen shift into sleep mode. It could be listening to calming music, reading, or even watching relaxing content like ASMR videos or nature documentaries.
3. Encourage Calming Content Before Bed
Don’t stress about eliminating screens completely. Instead, encourage them to swap overstimulating games or emotionally charged videos for more calming options. There’s plenty of content designed to relax the mind, like podcasts, slow-paced videos, or ASMR.
4. Make Their Room a Sleep Sanctuary
Help them create a sleep-friendly environment. This might mean dimming the lights at night, using blackout curtains, keeping the room cool, and even adding a white noise machine or fan to minimize distractions.
5. Gradual Wake-Up Time
Help them wake up slowly by giving them 3-5 minutes to adjust. Let them lie in bed, stretch, and take deep breaths before starting the day. Avoid abrupt wake-up methods like loud alarms or yelling.
6. Encourage Morning Light Exposure
Expose your teen to natural light in the morning, which helps regulate their circadian rhythm and makes waking up easier. Open the blinds or take a few minutes outside to soak up some sun.
7. Create a Morning Routine They Enjoy
Help your teen design a morning routine that includes activities they like—whether it’s playing their favourite playlist, having a breakfast they enjoy, or even a few minutes to themselves. The key is to make mornings something to look forward to.
8. Allow Weekend Flexibility
Allow your teen to sleep in a little longer on weekends to catch up on rest, but keep the wake-up time within a reasonable window (not past mid-morning). This helps them recover without completely throwing off their sleep schedule.
9. Talk About the Benefits of Sleep
Help your teen understand the “why” behind sleep. Explain how getting enough sleep improves their mood, focus, and memory, and how it helps them feel better in general. When they understand the benefits, they may be more willing to adopt healthier habits.
10. Model Healthy Sleep Habits
Teens are more likely to follow your lead than your rules. Show them that you also prioritise good sleep habits by sticking to a routine, winding down before bed, and avoiding late-night work or stress. When they see you practicing what you preach, they’re more likely to take it seriously.
Parenting teenagers isn’t easy, and we as parents go through our own changes right alongside them.
The key is to stay consistent, be fair, and most importantly, pick your battles. You’re no good to anyone if you’re constantly shouting and losing your mind!
So, take a breath, and remember—Parenting teens, we’re in this together!
For even more support, check out my two books, packed with tips and strategies to help us all get through these teen years with confidence and ease!
